Hm..

There are lots of things to do in life not stuck in one room without enough food.

and

Germany won't do "it."

Germans

Well, I'm not as interested in the U.S.

Hm.

Germans might be disconnected from France like England.

I found something else in this feeling.

Why is Andre such a topic?  His ways that match Joni are mean.

What's this?

So, I was taken out of school and my environment was ruined by my dad, so I could not be myself.  He said he was too poor for me to eat anymore and got junk all the time and disgusting meals.

Joni

Why am I always denied on Joni, anyway?

There

Germany is attractive and possesses qualities found attractive in the French.  It doesn't mean I dislike French or participate less?  Full French people go off and do as they please.  Not all Germans are "attractive" or pleasing.  I am also not in France or even New Orleans with its expensive natural disasters.

"Ghey."

Do you have anything else to talk about?

Hmph

I'm tired of getting no answer.  I'm patient, but now it's Joni.

Weird

Andre was pretty good and a good option next to Petra or what have you.  You acted like he wasn't good enough and everyone else was.  You said it was "about time."

"The Grouch"es

Are "you" the "fat and ugly" kind from being mean and irresponsible?

Hm.

It looks like I lost something, not just Andre, too.

How Much Am I Prevented

from becoming my beautiful self?

I can't chose the foods I want in the nursing home and it's not good.

Another Question

Why do people say I have something better regarding my work so Joni gets Andre now?

So

Baby Boomers have turned off all Generation XY.

Replacement

You know you can't have done or just do or plan to do or do something that Baby Boomers would see as right and get your way socially?

"Get It!"

I already know Joni "gets it," I'm not here to entertain that.  I'm here to see how I can make it so I get something.

Simple Statement, No Real Overarching Questions

I've been given a simple statement as though there's more behind it other than things like opinions and new details, that this person is deciding between pretending to marry Joni or say she's in competition with me.

Some people just use her as a tool when their time comes, to make sure I don't get anything.

Joni thinks other girls have succumbed already and so she doesn't get in their way.  That's partly what she wants to see sometimes, maybe, people succumbing finally, sounds like she's copying her mommy and doesn't have awareness of what is happening as she does it sorta.

Ideas to Save Money Etc. & Save Space, in Nursing Home

1. Stop Art - table is too small

2. Put stuff away on drawers and table so my planner is easier to get etc.

3. Pull out music, violin, more.

4. Neaten shoes ...somewhere.

I better get to it!

Does he care?

Does Andre Rieu care what I think of him, seriously just asking?  Does anyone?

For Other People to Know

You can be younger and attractive.

Prolonged Stay

Is this the result of an idea of a joke?  Who does this?  Stays in a mental hospital for almost a month then a nursing home for 4?

Nurses Hate Me but for No Reason

I noticed the way the nurses are friendly to each other and not me.  I'm just in an odd situation.

My Congratulations! I Feel I Knew It...

...Andre and Joni, people I am jealous of together forever with a beautiful baby boy + girl

See?

They are slow and retarded.

They are so stupid they tell me there is something terribly wrong with someone like Andre Rieu but show a keen interest s**ually.

Stop them!

Also, in general, I know people are reserving these hot people as real important people and ignoring them as topics until it's too late!!!

Well?

So, what am I really supposed to do about this person being nice to and interested in another girl but instead?  Shut up or say boo hoo do you still love me?  I'm prettier, though.

Know what I mean?

Why does Andre Rieu answer to a steaming pile of 💩?

Must Matter?

I was upset only to do with one person who counts, here now..

I was gonna somewhat frantically search if I wanna major in Criminal Justice.

Then, I thought why not be refined and make sure I study Art History?  I guess I can try on my own, but it's more nifty as a college degree online.  Thanks, to you, I finally learned you can feel about art, can be in a good way.

I said "Must Matter?" as the title, so conveniently.  I don't care what happened with people testing you, I even said it was okay and as usual I didn't matter, to you or anyone really.  I don't think anything really "happened."  Still, I don't know who said this, though, so I guess it's just too bad.

Clean

I cut my toenails! I need to do this more often and in the nursing home.

Another Problem!

I can't post on Facebook or my blog and have people not think it's addressed directly to they that don't answer (to them.)

Critical Thinking Skills

If you talk and you're all math and no English, it's gonna be that way when you sign off'a'here (sign off of here.)

"The Lo Down"

It's not gonna be sh*t for all the people I look up to who might have a "relationship" with me, somehow.

"Dinner"

They leave "dinner" up to the kids.

The Poor

Frozen pizza doesn't "fit the bill."

Hollywood

It was a joke, no one cares about you when the time comes in the end.

Waiting

I'm just waiting to hear an answer from the apartment or nursing home.  I might be done.

Need Food

I don't have enough decent food for my brain to function.

Not Funny

It's funny when you're mixed race and no one is interested in even talking to you.

Supper

I ordered Asian a deal, on DoorDash!  I also got orange soda for $2.99, so.

I didn't eat anything in the nursing home today almost, just some OJ and fruit, I think.

My Wish

I wish I could compose a certain kind of post and get a certain kind of answer for it, and go by that way.

A Wrap and a Workout

It seems making a wrap every day is making me feel better and more awake, eventually, coupled with the exercise.

Plan

I think I will move to another cheap apartment and get EveryPlate.

"Worthlessness"

People in the Cleveland medical system, at least the dingy "mental hospital" and nursing home, are delinquents, pigs hogging life not caring if I live or die on their whim.  I already told you I never invited you in particular to talk to me like that.

Americans

Americans are taking a "siesta."

Americans and Communication

Should Americans be allowed to communicate how they want?

(cont.)

Americans, what's the big deal?  If I don't wanna talk to some of them, I don't.

Sneaky

I almost feel Americans don't let me interact with people from Europe.

Savings

I opened a 2nd savings account at my main bank now for rent I saved.  I was late for this month because they cancelled the online option and I'm in a nursing home and they wouldn't let me use the bus now/yet.

If I need a new savings account, I might keep this one for rent savings.

Question

Do you like when people act mean but know what they're doing?

"Hard to Believe"

It's very "hard to believe" that sometimes people you like are accepted and you aren't.  No one seems to understand why..

College Online

I'm going to get my AA online free at the Baptist University of Florida, can finish in one semester.

It's better to say what your heritage is, or blood race.

You're ignoring many full Asian women when you are "Black" or "African" and you don't compare yourself to them and other "White" people forget that some people are mixed "Whites."

Latin Americans aren't really non-"White" but still on the racial journey of people seeing their skin as less fair or their culture removed like Americans from Europe, at least Spain seems to feel that way being the same ethnicity seeing differences between many.

Then, you have to go into that Western Europeans aren't all bad, and Eastern Europeans might like the best of them or whatever people seem to all think is the best.

Etc.

Typing Speed Test

Typing Speed Test

Clothes Shopping

 

Typing Test

Typing Test

Task - Call

I'm making a call to see how much money I'm allowed to make on "Survivors Benefits" of "Social Security."  I have to ask about tips, in case, too.

Depressing, Looking for Things to Do

It's depressing being confined to the nursing home and not going to activities and trying to find things to do.  I just try to stay awake, unless I feel I need a nap.  Sometimes, I'm tired, still, but don't want to sleep too much, like at once, not used to hibernating!

Of course, normally?  I'd go places, like walk around the mall.  That's a good reason to get a job and not just stay home and cook, on Social Security.  Most people say people on Social Security should get a job and make something of themselves, when they're out with people they know.

Food = Better

I'll probably be feeling better with enough food in the nursing home, like if anything happens.

Agh!

It feels so good if you have at least enough of the right food!

Mob

https://youtube.com/shorts/6CsypRKAFIk?si=8euwZmWmU08jT0VY

Why is Andre Rieu made to seem so untouchable?

The thing is already that I "get" that I did good in music and for him is to make sure I am popular "or else."  So, I am losing, thanks to people like possibly my dad or the people monitoring me in private, not my mistake anyway.  They always use attractive Baby Boomers in classical music against me.  It might even be their "wake up call" because not everyone is in that field though everyone can be a positive fan of the relationships forming with them.

It looks like he likes people more than Ellen DeGeneres, too.  She doesn't let annoying Americans talk to her etc.

Why is everyone waiting for me to get better rather than anyone making that decision of mine happen?  How stupid!  I was gonna fix myself up when this started, and it got in my way and some people decided the ill on me, seeing as I was getting on, because I was getting more attractive and, of course, trying.

I found something nasty about some Baby Boomers.

If you upset them but don't do anything wrong anyway, they just sit there and wait disgustingly and later they do something elaborate and put you off.

Violin Practice

I practiced the violin 15 minutes so far today, just scales and easy exercises and "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star."

Violinists

I noticed that violinists say you can't play if you didn't ask to play when you were little.

It's funny when I play piano I get a funny feeling of people cheering me on while many people think they can surpass me, and I did ask to play violin when I was little.

It's just a social issue that will chase you down.  They say you can still feel loved if you didn't start violin young, but I feel chased down.  I can't even be that proud of my ability to learn.  Things get in the way, in life, when your parents died and you can't make money and people are making fun of your self worth and hunting you down compared to others, who are also treated unfairly and don't have to do anything to be accepted over you.

Go for attractive Baby Boomer violinists, and it'll be a big problem because everyone likes the same thing.

I watched this! - Disneyland Paris

Watched This and Commented

Question

If it's about me being all French or whoever does that, why do the French keep talking about Germany's classical music and whining they can't "get it?"  Who cares, in that way?  Of course, it's not all the French today necessarily.  I'm a loser if I'm German, but no one cares if I'm French or how my racial mix blends and I don't do anything bad racially.

Facebook Post (by Me)

How much "French" do you have?? Does it even matter? sometimes. Maybe, when it's special.

(cont.)

Of course, that is not to say that is all of them, necessarily! esp. today possibly.

Facebook Post (by Me)

Didn't the French mostly seem to start, I'm not sure now, that it's about "what's good" when it comes to people's personal lives racially?

Facebook Post (by Me)

I should admit this?

I am disgusted at the "different" atmosphere that was created for me when my parents died. I'm not saying it's up to anyone else to help me but maybe my social worker legally. It's a big serious financial etc. thing for me to be on my own. People I feel just mock me for supposedly thinking, I did good in school basically and get the money, and that's all I'll have enough, or something. Well, my parents died before I could go back and finish my diploma! I wanted to finish, but people ousted me from my dreams and hard work and claimed I had the rest of my life to do this. The world is all trying to get credit for my basic intelligence, now it's crunch time, for me.

(cont.)

...and we shouldn't all be punished as one in the same, if we still want to be young to Baby Boomers.

Enthusiasm

I noticed there was a lot of enthusiasm for my generation, Generation X and XY, when we were young.

Why do Baby Boomers always get a lot of enthusiasm still?  It's like it ended for us in our 30s.

Like, performing?  Not that exciting without the enthusiasm, like if you think of singing, dancing, and acting.  It was a big, big world we couldn't really all enter well.

There's no reason to be turning in.

Also, there's more enthusiasm to keep countries like France going, essentially, regarding feeling important and included.  What are the rest of us to do who are not, like, all French? etc.

I just got violin sheet music free to learn.

Scales

Positions 4, 5, 6, 7

"Worlds"

I feel there is not a "world" I can live in but people in the world I must come to scope.

Question About Generation X and XY

Are Baby Boomers counting on good kids to not dream in private or whatever and host those obese ladies stationing mental health facilities and services to oversee that bad and Autistic kids are the only ones to dream, as well as to feature Hollywood?

Friends

A lotta people wanna be my friend because I am so elaborate unending-ly.

No Fair

No one seems to care about me, but other Asians are "in."

Why, then?

So, why I am considered bad no matter if I have enough money or not?

Question

Do you have to be a rich loser to have a point in life?

Ashley

Do you think Ashley got what she wanted?  It doesn't seem like anyone will finish off some things, while she gets it.

Graduation

I guess I will when I am settled or maybe even before, maybe even before publishing my book.  I may have 4 classes left, may take 1 or 2.  Maybe 1 or 2 religions and 1 science, maybe done with math.

College Material

I wish I could do some college General Studies about now, maybe get my AA, but I have things to get in order.  I could do it on Survivors Benefits and not work.

Waiting to Eat

I'm just waiting for my nurse to let me take my medicine and give myself insulin shots.

I want to go to the dining room to eat my noodle soup.

I saw she got up from waiting for a text from a doctor.

Cold Weather

 32*F tonight!  The degree for snow!  The frost is going to the counties not on the water! in Ohio!

Something Better Gritty

Rather than blaming the little girls of the orchestra and whatnot, why not ask why Andre Rieu must have an overarching sort of "problem" with me that I'm not a pleasure to confide in.  It's either older White people or younger White people, and younger White people get "fucked."  I'm like an older equal regarding any new advances.  I mean, who are these people, Dutch women?  I don't have to be a younger person "end," however.

Question

Why do people act like I've "had my say" and I'm not that cool?  It's not even "shit" that I asked.

Blogger

It wasn't working today, so I wrote in a diary online.

Something

People in Cleveland.

The older nurses and "aids" here, maybe in their late 40s and in 50s, apparently have a problem and hate me.  I'm not here to be made fun of how silly I think they are when they are mean to me..  I'm in a nursing home and wanted to get out.  Apparently, nurses more around my age in the mental hospital and nursing home maybe just want to say they hate their job but tell me they hate it.  That's funny, people in Orlando were all like that, acting mean to me because they work and saying it was my fault when it wasn't my fault life feels like this or happens to be like this.

Idea

I think I'm gonna sell that book when I save money, make some money, and move.  Otherwise, I'd sell my music playing, first.

Hm.

People don't recognize me for what I do.

Idea

Make plebeian relations "jump through hurtles."

There's nothing to do.

I'm not here to feel sorry for anyone about money.

I know Latin American and African American families center on food and family and same with Asians and also on food Italian Americans center.

I don't have anything to do.

How do people get money to do nice things and not get pestered like they don't deserve it?

Never Enough Money - "Born and Bred"

Why did my parents put my younger brother and I in private schools?  Public schools aren't ^bad^, and we didn't have much money.  They made the Catholic schools suck, in the end.  I went to 7 Catholic schools, 2 Baptist schools, and 1 Methodist school.  Sometimes, some schools have supposedly choice programs, but in the end any could "suck" or be bad.  Where could all that money have gone?

I think this topic, that I was born and bred without enough money, would insult most families for suggesting my parents didn't do what was best for me but that I was right all along because I was right all along.

It seems no one is helping people thinking it's always the family's fault.  They know it's selfish to be that way to people in general, in the working world, and need to realize this in comparison with me.

Even in music, I guess there's no best or famous.  Just go to any ole college and forget about all that competition!  No offense to anyone-

Bach - Keyboard Concerto No. 3 in D Major, BWV 1054: III. Allegro

#7 - 26.21

Why are you not like ... Andre Rieu?

Should we say since Andre Rieu already did something great, it's not really an option to play with for at least someone like me?  Other people like to cross their eyes up at him for that fact and still play with it, like he is.  I did consider making a professional orchestra for working adults, serving all levels to the top.  After all, violin takes maybe a few years to learn, supposedly easier when you already know music, like people who are already violinists don't practice maybe so much alone.

Some of the Dutch sentiment has no point insulting me for making mistakes, pretending they are infallible, or will these ones deny it next time I get a message?  What else is there to discuss?  I forget, but there are details that are interesting and overarching in English.  I am glad to have Dutch heritage, but they prove to be mean sometimes.