Ill Reputed

Why should I care what you feel my reputation is and how did it get that way? by my dad.

I noticed some Dutch males being influential while following Andre Rieu and his music people.  I just realized it's true they want to make sure I don't get attached to Andre Rieu and say it's because I'm Dutch but they are Dutch and they want to in lieu of that ... and then say I'm not okay being Dutch..  I guess you just have to look and see how precious their Indonesians are and how much Germany worships Japan.  There are people in every race and ethnicity who look undesirable or who are undesired, and popular for certain qualities and features.  The answer is it's wrong, then.  No need to say it's not a good reason why.

Overly/Especially Attractive Americans and Other Caucasians

Well, people do like motherly brunettes to nurture them mostly but not as much to be the most successful people in show-business.

It seems strange how not many people who are considered privileged to be attractive or just successful at it don't circulate being exposed as much, and when someone does it's like a blacklisting opportunity regarding other people who aren't overall worse than most others.  It happens like anything does socially and matters like anything.

I'm just not really happy I'm not one of them if that's the level it's at, but I don't complain about it and am just mad people pretend I do or want to.  Who wouldn't be that way, anyway? in their straight minds? or when their moms suck all their moral energy out of them? and leave none for anyone else somehow?

I don't even brag about being attractive in my thoughts, but I still want to try!  I think I did look alluring, but then no one cares because my mom is not American and then go mentally insane and say it's not fair then.  When I look fine, I look good.  I was very healthy sometimes, but my dad or someone always got in the way.  That's what I would say was hard work that made me look good, maybe not sparkly or bubbly.  I was a little short looking, but it's my legs that need to grow.  It seems unfair my lifestyle when I was young and impressionable and didn't know what to do exactly as much as I do now and am being prevented now from my last opportunity at life and being nurtured by older people eventually more, like something else is waiting to happen instead.

I just don't like how people want to make it their point to tell me people are just pretending I'm attractive in every way, maybe aren't as "good" looking like they might be more perverted but need to learn to not get jealous and accept I like them and how they look more than I do overall.  I do think I just never was exposed to the same people or treatment.

What's the hot and new Asian country after China and Japan?

Indonesia!

I found a credible source stating maybe Indonesians came from Asia like 10,000 years ago, and they came from Africa, supposedly it says, while Europe did come from the Middle East.. but you know it doesn't matter but might make some difference?  I don't know the status of Africans/Blacks and Jewish people..

So, it is like the miracle culture that is old Asia refined, to "Whites."  Wow, to be honest, they just get everything.  That's fine by me, but I thought I was included.  It grosses me out, on an individual level.  No racism allowed, I say, but I'm not violent to "racists."  I just don't want to be the negative one in the game or someone people sadly can't talk to..