Remember a better world?

Remember, bad Italians etc. think I don't get to have fun.

Well!

The people monitoring me in private can't act in place of others I like.

Counting Money

I have nothing better to do than count money.

Shit!

I was feeling really crappy and went to take a shit and feel much better, now.

If I landed...

If I had a fancy house, I would have it beautifully light slightly bluish green with gold shiny borders.  I'm ready to take this world into its future!

Happy Content?

😭  Do you go home every day and come back refreshed and 100% perfect in life?  When you come here for the shits and giggles and have a good time, on film|boards.

The Social World is Hibernating

The world used to be more social.  Now, everyone does their thing in private.  Like, memes and cliches.  Like, things that you'd find'd be a big deal, like logical things you conclude.

Teenagers and Young Adults

I noticed teenagers and young adults in the mid 1990s or something would get upset at me, like if they do something and you don't give a friendly reaction.  I would just feel embarrassed, on the spot but then look shy.  Still, you'd be treated like you're bad, like "trash."  They act like you're not cool and they all keep doing these things.  They're all mad at Mommy and Daddy issues to kids, even good ones.  Bad kids seem to get away with it, sometimes.  I mean kids when I was younger, like maybe 12 I 1998? and older.

Frozen "Dinners"

I just watched a YouTube video on frozen dinners.

I thought frozen dinners that were worth it would be things good frozen but fun like chicken nuggets with fries and a dessert.

It makes sense to sell emergency food for emergencies.  The video opens saying it's an alternative to saying, negatively, "take out" from restaurants or something.  Well, I was thinking of being a stay at home mom, but I'd get tired from staying home too possibly since I'm not used to it.  I just can't do this the way I want.

Germany and Music

I had a somewhat good somewhat strange dream.

First it was about music and Germany, Tim Burton is a good French style artist, but whatever he did was handled sloppily and suddenly it was all about art and England which wasn't supposed to like stop Germany.

My dream started with me in school giving a piano recital that was decent but not my best.  This pretty flute player I saw Up North was in with the in crowd.  It turned into an animation, as I saw, after they went deep down to a sub like 40 floors into the earth, some big fat Italian pizza cartoon men whipped up cans of biscuits and used it to make sandwiches of some sort.  They had to eat, so make it cheap.  The train/s came.  There was a mouse working on it, gray, and it was so horrific its tail tied itself to the rail and it whipped around dead on the wheel!  Etc.  It kept repeating how people need to eat and they make it cheap.  It was the fuel for the duel, so-to-speak.  They looked at the passengers.  The mouse suffered.  In the end, I was welcome to a sweatshirt and part time job and to play violin in a group someday.  There was another private message I think meaning someday things would be better but today maybe would stay the same.  It sounds like what it's like for kids today.  Kids today don't fit in at all and are scrambling to fit in.

Behavior

I have strict rules of behavior I am sometimes solely rewarded for, while Barb and Joni don't.

Still

It may not be necessary but more or less still my business.  Maybe my whole life is a joke.  She's already like that.

Joni

Joni seems to get it just for having light hair.  I don't know if she's in my business because they lie.  Anyway, they think she's humble, really.  Go talk to her and stop ruining my life.

And..

It seems like it's taking too long whatever we are looking forward to.

I guess.

I guess people just don't like me and won't leave me alone, tho.

Hm.

If it's all about Joni getting with a boy like marrying then why is she such a big deal to everyone else who turns her down? if they do.

Hm.

I found Irish was Germanic?

Hm, well.

The Dutch will show interested in Germany when not me even if people disagree with something fishy about them that only they can share.

Well

What about Asians and mixed Asians who are ready to talk?

Staying in Shape

Do some people stay in shape by talking?

Hm..

What if it's not America? so much.

I want to move.

Somewhere without natural disasters so much.  Maybe in June.

Hm..

It's not an emergency if someone gets something someone else doesn't get.  I'm watching something on TV.

"That's what I heard."

I said the food was a problem and they know I'm 1/2 Asian.  They didn't use their authority to make sure I'm okay or the kitchen didn't listen well or it's still bad.  Cleveland is afraid to say anything, thinks it has a shot at being Far North.

Hm..

There are lots of things to do in life not stuck in one room without enough food.

and

Germany won't do "it."

Germans

Well, I'm not as interested in the U.S.

Hm.

Germans might be disconnected from France like England.

I found something else in this feeling.

Why is Andre such a topic?  His ways that match Joni are mean.

What's this?

So, I was taken out of school and my environment was ruined by my dad, so I could not be myself.  He said he was too poor for me to eat anymore and got junk all the time and disgusting meals.

Joni

Why am I always denied on Joni, anyway?

There

Germany is attractive and possesses qualities found attractive in the French.  It doesn't mean I dislike French or participate less?  Full French people go off and do as they please.  Not all Germans are "attractive" or pleasing.  I am also not in France or even New Orleans with its expensive natural disasters.

"Ghey."

Do you have anything else to talk about?

Hmph

I'm tired of getting no answer.  I'm patient, but now it's Joni.

Weird

Andre was pretty good and a good option next to Petra or what have you.  You acted like he wasn't good enough and everyone else was.  You said it was "about time."

"The Grouch"es

Are "you" the "fat and ugly" kind from being mean and irresponsible?

Hm.

It looks like I lost something, not just Andre, too.

How Much Am I Prevented

from becoming my beautiful self?

I can't chose the foods I want in the nursing home and it's not good.

Another Question

Why do people say I have something better regarding my work so Joni gets Andre now?

So

Baby Boomers have turned off all Generation XY.

Replacement

You know you can't have done or just do or plan to do or do something that Baby Boomers would see as right and get your way socially?

"Get It!"

I already know Joni "gets it," I'm not here to entertain that.  I'm here to see how I can make it so I get something.

Simple Statement, No Real Overarching Questions

I've been given a simple statement as though there's more behind it other than things like opinions and new details, that this person is deciding between pretending to marry Joni or say she's in competition with me.

Some people just use her as a tool when their time comes, to make sure I don't get anything.

Joni thinks other girls have succumbed already and so she doesn't get in their way.  That's partly what she wants to see sometimes, maybe, people succumbing finally, sounds like she's copying her mommy and doesn't have awareness of what is happening as she does it sorta.

Ideas to Save Money Etc. & Save Space, in Nursing Home

1. Stop Art - table is too small

2. Put stuff away on drawers and table so my planner is easier to get etc.

3. Pull out music, violin, more.

4. Neaten shoes ...somewhere.

I better get to it!

Does he care?

Does Andre Rieu care what I think of him, seriously just asking?  Does anyone?

For Other People to Know

You can be younger and attractive.

Prolonged Stay

Is this the result of an idea of a joke?  Who does this?  Stays in a mental hospital for almost a month then a nursing home for 4?

Nurses Hate Me but for No Reason

I noticed the way the nurses are friendly to each other and not me.  I'm just in an odd situation.

My Congratulations! I Feel I Knew It...

...Andre and Joni, people I am jealous of together forever with a beautiful baby boy + girl

See?

They are slow and retarded.

They are so stupid they tell me there is something terribly wrong with someone like Andre Rieu but show a keen interest s**ually.

Stop them!

Also, in general, I know people are reserving these hot people as real important people and ignoring them as topics until it's too late!!!

Well?

So, what am I really supposed to do about this person being nice to and interested in another girl but instead?  Shut up or say boo hoo do you still love me?  I'm prettier, though.

Know what I mean?

Why does Andre Rieu answer to a steaming pile of 💩?

Must Matter?

I was upset only to do with one person who counts, here now..

I was gonna somewhat frantically search if I wanna major in Criminal Justice.

Then, I thought why not be refined and make sure I study Art History?  I guess I can try on my own, but it's more nifty as a college degree online.  Thanks, to you, I finally learned you can feel about art, can be in a good way.

I said "Must Matter?" as the title, so conveniently.  I don't care what happened with people testing you, I even said it was okay and as usual I didn't matter, to you or anyone really.  I don't think anything really "happened."  Still, I don't know who said this, though, so I guess it's just too bad.

Clean

I cut my toenails! I need to do this more often and in the nursing home.

Another Problem!

I can't post on Facebook or my blog and have people not think it's addressed directly to they that don't answer (to them.)

Critical Thinking Skills

If you talk and you're all math and no English, it's gonna be that way when you sign off'a'here (sign off of here.)

"The Lo Down"

It's not gonna be sh*t for all the people I look up to who might have a "relationship" with me, somehow.

"Dinner"

They leave "dinner" up to the kids.

The Poor

Frozen pizza doesn't "fit the bill."

Hollywood

It was a joke, no one cares about you when the time comes in the end.

Waiting

I'm just waiting to hear an answer from the apartment or nursing home.  I might be done.

Need Food

I don't have enough decent food for my brain to function.

Not Funny

It's funny when you're mixed race and no one is interested in even talking to you.

Supper

I ordered Asian a deal, on DoorDash!  I also got orange soda for $2.99, so.

I didn't eat anything in the nursing home today almost, just some OJ and fruit, I think.

My Wish

I wish I could compose a certain kind of post and get a certain kind of answer for it, and go by that way.

A Wrap and a Workout

It seems making a wrap every day is making me feel better and more awake, eventually, coupled with the exercise.

Plan

I think I will move to another cheap apartment and get EveryPlate.

"Worthlessness"

People in the Cleveland medical system, at least the dingy "mental hospital" and nursing home, are delinquents, pigs hogging life not caring if I live or die on their whim.  I already told you I never invited you in particular to talk to me like that.

Americans

Americans are taking a "siesta."

Americans and Communication

Should Americans be allowed to communicate how they want?

(cont.)

Americans, what's the big deal?  If I don't wanna talk to some of them, I don't.

Sneaky

I almost feel Americans don't let me interact with people from Europe.

Savings

I opened a 2nd savings account at my main bank now for rent I saved.  I was late for this month because they cancelled the online option and I'm in a nursing home and they wouldn't let me use the bus now/yet.

If I need a new savings account, I might keep this one for rent savings.

Question

Do you like when people act mean but know what they're doing?

"Hard to Believe"

It's very "hard to believe" that sometimes people you like are accepted and you aren't.  No one seems to understand why..

College Online

I'm going to get my AA online free at the Baptist University of Florida, can finish in one semester.

It's better to say what your heritage is, or blood race.

You're ignoring many full Asian women when you are "Black" or "African" and you don't compare yourself to them and other "White" people forget that some people are mixed "Whites."

Latin Americans aren't really non-"White" but still on the racial journey of people seeing their skin as less fair or their culture removed like Americans from Europe, at least Spain seems to feel that way being the same ethnicity seeing differences between many.

Then, you have to go into that Western Europeans aren't all bad, and Eastern Europeans might like the best of them or whatever people seem to all think is the best.

Etc.

Typing Speed Test

Typing Speed Test

Clothes Shopping

 

Typing Test

Typing Test

Task - Call

I'm making a call to see how much money I'm allowed to make on "Survivors Benefits" of "Social Security."  I have to ask about tips, in case, too.

Depressing, Looking for Things to Do

It's depressing being confined to the nursing home and not going to activities and trying to find things to do.  I just try to stay awake, unless I feel I need a nap.  Sometimes, I'm tired, still, but don't want to sleep too much, like at once, not used to hibernating!

Of course, normally?  I'd go places, like walk around the mall.  That's a good reason to get a job and not just stay home and cook, on Social Security.  Most people say people on Social Security should get a job and make something of themselves, when they're out with people they know.

Food = Better

I'll probably be feeling better with enough food in the nursing home, like if anything happens.

Agh!

It feels so good if you have at least enough of the right food!

Mob

https://youtube.com/shorts/6CsypRKAFIk?si=8euwZmWmU08jT0VY

Why is Andre Rieu made to seem so untouchable?

The thing is already that I "get" that I did good in music and for him is to make sure I am popular "or else."  So, I am losing, thanks to people like possibly my dad or the people monitoring me in private, not my mistake anyway.  They always use attractive Baby Boomers in classical music against me.  It might even be their "wake up call" because not everyone is in that field though everyone can be a positive fan of the relationships forming with them.

It looks like he likes people more than Ellen DeGeneres, too.  She doesn't let annoying Americans talk to her etc.

Why is everyone waiting for me to get better rather than anyone making that decision of mine happen?  How stupid!  I was gonna fix myself up when this started, and it got in my way and some people decided the ill on me, seeing as I was getting on, because I was getting more attractive and, of course, trying.

I found something nasty about some Baby Boomers.

If you upset them but don't do anything wrong anyway, they just sit there and wait disgustingly and later they do something elaborate and put you off.

Violin Practice

I practiced the violin 15 minutes so far today, just scales and easy exercises and "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star."

Violinists

I noticed that violinists say you can't play if you didn't ask to play when you were little.

It's funny when I play piano I get a funny feeling of people cheering me on while many people think they can surpass me, and I did ask to play violin when I was little.

It's just a social issue that will chase you down.  They say you can still feel loved if you didn't start violin young, but I feel chased down.  I can't even be that proud of my ability to learn.  Things get in the way, in life, when your parents died and you can't make money and people are making fun of your self worth and hunting you down compared to others, who are also treated unfairly and don't have to do anything to be accepted over you.

Go for attractive Baby Boomer violinists, and it'll be a big problem because everyone likes the same thing.

I watched this! - Disneyland Paris

Watched This and Commented

Question

If it's about me being all French or whoever does that, why do the French keep talking about Germany's classical music and whining they can't "get it?"  Who cares, in that way?  Of course, it's not all the French today necessarily.  I'm a loser if I'm German, but no one cares if I'm French or how my racial mix blends and I don't do anything bad racially.

Facebook Post (by Me)

How much "French" do you have?? Does it even matter? sometimes. Maybe, when it's special.

(cont.)

Of course, that is not to say that is all of them, necessarily! esp. today possibly.

Facebook Post (by Me)

Didn't the French mostly seem to start, I'm not sure now, that it's about "what's good" when it comes to people's personal lives racially?

Facebook Post (by Me)

I should admit this?

I am disgusted at the "different" atmosphere that was created for me when my parents died. I'm not saying it's up to anyone else to help me but maybe my social worker legally. It's a big serious financial etc. thing for me to be on my own. People I feel just mock me for supposedly thinking, I did good in school basically and get the money, and that's all I'll have enough, or something. Well, my parents died before I could go back and finish my diploma! I wanted to finish, but people ousted me from my dreams and hard work and claimed I had the rest of my life to do this. The world is all trying to get credit for my basic intelligence, now it's crunch time, for me.

(cont.)

...and we shouldn't all be punished as one in the same, if we still want to be young to Baby Boomers.

Enthusiasm

I noticed there was a lot of enthusiasm for my generation, Generation X and XY, when we were young.

Why do Baby Boomers always get a lot of enthusiasm still?  It's like it ended for us in our 30s.

Like, performing?  Not that exciting without the enthusiasm, like if you think of singing, dancing, and acting.  It was a big, big world we couldn't really all enter well.

There's no reason to be turning in.

Also, there's more enthusiasm to keep countries like France going, essentially, regarding feeling important and included.  What are the rest of us to do who are not, like, all French? etc.